For the first time today I put on some of my “loose-fit,” pre-pregnancy clothing and realized that it 1) is no longer to loose, and 2) definitely no longer fits. All of my shirts, sweaters, pullovers, and jackets come to somewhere around my bellybutton line. I was very sad about this fact, because up until now I have been able to stay in a few pieces of my “normal” clothing, and thus retain some sort of fabricated (haha!) connection to my pre-pregnancy self . Today’s failure-to-fit only added to my realization that I have become a bipedal uterus. It’s days like these that I feel as if my only purpose in life is to eat and grow a baby.
On the other hand…this also means I get to go shopping for more maternity clothing! Yay! While maternity fashion is not the most varied or youthful (think solids and thin horizontal stripes on everything), I have managed to find a little bit of hope around the internet. Pinterest has some amazing suggestions for maternity fashion, including individual pieces and full outfit designs. One of the trends I’ve seen that I have fallen in love with is the slender belt fastened over the bump. It makes the bump stand out more, and it adds a bit of something to the otherwise bland repertoire that is maternity clothing. Sadly, this trend does not seem popular here in Germany, as most people laugh when they see my belted bump. But I will not give in!
Is clothing really that important, in the grand scheme of things? No. But being pregnant can be a very real kick to the self-esteem, and being able to find nice, fashionable clothing while pregnant helps with the serious decline of a lady’s self-image. During pregnancy the body goes through so many changes, and it really helps to have something about (or on) your body that isn’t totally new and alien. Still being able to find cute clothing and styles is one of those things.
My muscles ache from being pulled in all directions at once, my joints hurt, my feet are swellings, and I can only sleep for a few hours at a time before my back kills me or the baby moves around so much that I can’t sleep. But at least, AT LEAST…I can go and buy some new shirts that don’t make me look as frumpy and worn out as I feel. It’s a small victory, but and important one.
PS: I know that the bigger I get, the bigger the baby gets, which of course makes me happy. Of course! Of course! It means he’s healthy and developing well, and as a mother this makes me happier than a bird with a french fry. But let me tell you, saying “Oh, you’re getting so big! The baby must be doing really well!” does nothing for my bruised self-esteem, as I progressively become more and more whale-like in stature. I am not the type of person to be simply happy or sad about a thing. I am both at the same time, and this is what makes me human. So there.